Lesson 8: Introduction to Communication – Part 1: Conversation Skills with Celeste Headlee
Original journal entry from October 29, 2025 – Response to Lesson 8: Introduction to Communication (Part 1: Conversation Skills – Celeste Headlee). This was my reflection on Celeste Headlee’s TED Talk “10 ways to have a better conversation,” highlighting the rules that hit home most: entering open to learn, being fully present (no multitasking), and listening to understand — with honest self-examination and thoughts on technology’s role.
In her TED Talk, Celeste Headlee distills her experience as a radio host into 10 rules to help people have better conversations in various settings in their lives. All of them seem important but the one that stuck with me most was the “don't pontificate” point, meaning, to enter conversations open to learning more and to come with an attitude that the other person knows something I don’t. I agree with this because it also aligns with the servant mindset, saying “how can I serve this person better?” Being open to learning opens unexpected doors. It displays a certain level of humility that tells the other person that I’m interested in hearing what they have to say and also that I neither know everything, nor think I know everything. It automatically gives the other person and their perspective value.
The point on “being present and avoiding multitasking” was a good one too. I know I’m guilty of doing a variety of other things when I’m in zoom meetings, including cooking, cleaning or doing laundry, for example. But also when I’m sitting down with my wife, I tend to pick up the phone and skim through my notifications… yes, I can hear and understand what she’s saying while half focusing on something else, but I often catch myself doing that and then putting my phone down to be fully present with her. It makes me wonder whether I have too much on my plate, if I think I have to multitask during my conversations. Do I need to trim a few less important things from my day so that I can more fully focus on the things that are more important?
But I feel like she paints technology too much as the villain here. Yes, I see that with technology people can become incredibly isolated. But technology is just a tool in a person’s hand, like money. Neither is bad or good in and of itself but rather how it is used by people. Technology makes it possible for Jedi from all around the world to connect with each other, for example. My family is scattered over 3 continents… we stay in touch because of technology.
And then the “listen” point, with the quote from Stephen Covey, "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand. We listen with the intent to reply." She brought this point almost at the end but it may be one of, if no the, most important point. She says that we talk to stay in control of the conversation. I think this goes hand in hand with conversing with the attitude where I come to the table expecting to learn something from the other person (and also her #10 rule). If I’m open to learning, I’m more inclined to listen instead of talk. What I found interesting was when she mentioned that we can speak 225 words per minute on average but we can listen to and process 500. Of course, two people only listening at the same time is just as pointless as two people only talking at the same time.
Umalohókan
House of Twin Suns
TM: Carlos Martinez
"You don't have to see the whole staircase just to take the first step."
(Signature links to IP Journal, Apprentice Journal, A.div Journal, and Degree Tracker omitted for brevity — these were forum navigation links at the time.)
Looking back now: This entry applied conversation skills to everyday life with honesty — admitting multitasking habits, valuing humility in listening, and balancing technology’s downsides with its real benefits for connection. It showed how the lesson helped me become more intentional and present in relationships, both online and off.